Not on most days

It went like this:

"Excuse me. Good morning, Father."
"Good morning."
"Do you guys do confessions on Sunday?"
"No."
"No?"
"No, only on [this particular day of the week, at this hour]"

hmm...

who knows?

Who knows what God has in mind? All I can do is trust in His will; I know that His plans are best. Who would've thought that I'd be Catholic, or even Christian? Who knows why He waited so long to bring me to this point, why he waited until I am almost too old to enter a convent? (Yes, I know: "Say not I am too young ...")

Even now, though I am chomping at the the bit and stamping my feet in impatience, the gate has not opened. This is not to say that He has done nothing, because He has certainly done much. But I am getting impatient with the preparations; I know He is preparing both me and the community in which I am to enter.

Patience is a virtue. I do know one way to beat the devil is to have patience and persistence. Perhaps this is a battle of patience at the moment. I have no choice but to wait. And while the angels fight for me, it is my job not to crumble. Lord, it is you for whom I wait. I am in the desert, I am without daily mass, without spiritual direction, and now without Sunday communion, but I know I am NOT without YOU. The devil may dance but I know he won't win.

today

Tired. Seems like I'm always tired.

Was hungry this morning, but I didn't eat since I was going to mass. On the way there, it occurred to me that I shouldn't take communion until I've been to confession. (Thank you, God, for reminding me.) Oh well. I guess it was still good to have fasted. I don't know when or where I'll be doing confession. Everything is so much more difficult with this job--it sucks my time and energy.

Came back home after mass and gobbled up a variety of leftovers ... then my digestive system objected. Fortunately it was only a mild objection.

I was given a new book yesterday: The Essential Moral Handbook - A Guide to Catholic Living by Kevin J. O'Neil, C.S.S.R. and Peter Black, C.S.S.R. I have read the intro (thanks to the mild digestive system objection) and it seems to be a very readable and interesting book. So I suppose this will be my current read.

Cell phone that was lost has been returned.

New gas station opened up near our house. It currently has the best price around. I filled up both cars for less than fifty bucks.

Else I'm just continuing to struggle ... struggling against my tiredness, against my smallness of heart and smallness of mind. Trying to stay awake and to function, trying to find the energy to move out of autopilot.....zzzzz

stuff

Interesting knick knacks at Foster's ... not that I would want to temp anyone's pocketbook.

On the topic of "stuff", I had mentioned to friends that if I get married, my wedding registry would be at one of the big name car dealerships.

one night invite

"Hearts Ablaze"

Come Risk the Sacred Journey

A gathering for women ages 20-40

who are discerning a call to religious life

Friday, September 15, 2006 - 6:00 P.M.

Until

Saturday, September 16, 2006 - 6:00 P.M.

Dominican Sisters' Meeting Room

Houston, Texas

To register or for more information please contact:

p c a s e y at d o m h o u . o r g

(out of the office August 28th - September 4th)

"Weren't our hearts ablaze within us while he was talking to us on the road"

blah

Nothing much to report. I'm now sleeping in Gumby's room so that Gumby might wake me if my assistance is needed. However, I have been told that Gumby has on occasion screamed in pain but the screams did nothing to disturb my sleep. I suggested that something can be thrown at me to wake me up. This is interesting since my sleep was lighter when I we had our sick dog back in October. I actually would wake up when he whimpered. Evidently somewhere in the back of my brain it must have figured that it need not be alarmed at Gumby's activities. So I happily snooze away for the 4-5 hours that I might get each night.

The day or two after I posted about headlights being amazingly long lasting, I had to replace one of the headlight bulbs on my car. This week our neighbor replaced the car battery for me. Last weekend I lost my cell phone at mass. Gumby is convinced that it was stolen. Sad thing is that people's phone numbers are now in the hands of some unknown person. May God render the phone (or at least the SIM) inoperable. I had the phone set so that when it powers on, the opening text is "Seek first the kingdom of God." Hopefully it will be heeded.

Ps 27 / prayer before a crucifix

I'm pretty sure it's going to take me more than a week to memorize this one. Anyways, here goes.
--------------------------

Psalm 27

Of David

-A-
I
The LORD is my light and my salvation;
   whom do I fear?
The LORD is my life's refuge;
   of whom am I afraid?
When evildoers come at me
   to devour my flesh,
These my enemies and foes
   themselves stumble and fall.
Though an army encamp against me,
   my heart does not fear;
Though war be waged against me,
   even then do I trust.


II
One thing I ask of the LORD;
   this I seek:
To dwell in the LORD'S house
   all the days of my life,
To gaze on the LORD'S beauty,
   to visit his temple.
For God will hide me in his shelter
   in time of trouble,
Will conceal me in the cover of his tent;
   and set me high upon a rock.
Even now my head is held high
   above my enemies on every side!
I will offer in his tent
   sacrifices with shouts of joy;
   I will sing and chant praise to the LORD.


-B-
I
Hear my voice, LORD, when I call;
   have mercy on me and answer me.
"Come," says my heart, "seek God's face";
   your face, LORD, do I seek!
Do not hide your face from me;
   do not repel your servant in anger.
You are my help; do not cast me off;
   do not forsake me, God my savior!
Even if my father and mother forsake me,
   the LORD will take me in.


II
LORD, show me your way;
   lead me on a level path
   because of my enemies.
Do not abandon me to the will of my foes;
   malicious and lying witnesses
   have risen against me.
But I believe I shall enjoy the LORD'S goodness
   in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD, take courage;
   be stouthearted, wait for the LORD! 

Prayer Before a Crucifix

Look down upon me, good and gentle Jesus, while before Your face I humbly kneel and with burning soul pray and beseech You to fix deep in my heart lively sentiments of faith, hope and charity, true contrition for my sins, and a firm purpose of amendment.

While I contemplate, with great love and tender pity, Your five most precious wounds, pondering over them within me and calling to mind the words which David, Your prophet, said of You, My Jesus: "They have pierced my hands and my feet, they have injured all my bones." Amen

my personality revealed

Okay, so a three question test of two choices each question doesn't allow for much variation. I looked at the test again today and my answers didn't change ... guess I'm not multiple personality (yet, anyways).

So I went looking for the meaning of an "SP" personality; and the SP group, like for all the personality groups, have four variations. I pick the introvert variations, and being that I'm no artist, went with mechanic. So the personality is then "ISTP." I didn't go looking for the other personality types ... this one seems close enough.

Indeed I'm hands-on, laid back, doing-stuff, how-does-it-work, need-time-to-think/sort, don't-trust-my-feelings type. Yes, I do tend to revert to being rather juvenile when under stress.

Take for example, this weekend at the Dominican jubilee celebration. This is a huge event. And what did I do? I showed up in jeans and t-shirt. Yes, I had caved into the temptation of "so sue me" "what are you gonna do, fire me?" "the hell with it" slacker attitude. I had considered slinking off with my tail tucked but decided against it. I'll risk the embarassment, with the hopes of dazzling them so with my personality that the dress (or lack thereof) shall be forgiven. The results were less than stellar since there is nothing dazzling about my introverted somebody-save-me-please personality. I would just have to redeem myself another way ... like staying to the end and helping with the clean up ... shoot, I was dressed for that.

so tell me about myself

Your Personality Is

Artisan (SP) You are both grounded and flexible. You adapt well to new situations. You are playful and free spirited - but you are also dependable and never flaky. You don't do well in conservative, stuffy situations. It's probably very hard for you to keep a normal job or stay in school. You are always up for fun and adventure. Most people are too boring for you. You take risks and bend the rules. And if things don't work out, you chock it up to life experience. In love, you tend to take things quickly - but you have a huge problem with commitment. At work, you need to make your own rules. You're best suited to be an entrepreneur. With others, you are animated and physical. You prefer doing something with friends to just hanging out. As far as your looks go, you tend to be buff and in good shape. Your spend more time on your body than your clothes. On weekends, you need to keep active. From cooking up a storm to running a 5K, you wear yourself out.

The Three Question Personality Test

(seen at LamLand)