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communications?

Monday, January 29, 2007

I don't spend that much time thinking about homosexual issues. I've read only a very few things on it. Today I ran across this article, titled The Homosexual Condition. Maybe it's just me, but I keep expecting to see a conclusion but not seeing it. Reading these things leave me feeling like I've only been given half a breath and I'm still waiting for the other half. Again, maybe it's just me, I was required to take remedial reading classes after all.

I mean, I get it that I don't condemn or else disrespect anyone just because they're "gay." But how do I manage to communicate acceptance and at the same time say "you need fixing, something is broken." Hey, I'd be the first to admit that I need fixing ... I sure ain't perfect. But I don't have the general population singling me out for some fixing. How can I communicate that it's not that I'm better than you, it's not that I pity you; how can I communicate without seeming self-righteous or holier-than-thou? I can say, "Dude, you have a knife in your side. You might want to see about getting it removed" and there probably won't be too much repercussion. But if I say, "Man, you are gay. You might want to look at options for not living the gay lifestyle," I'd probably not survive to tell of it.

Speaking of trauma ... I remember when I had a joint that needed surgery. That surgery didn't come until weeks later. If I understand correctly, the doctor is not fixing the joint until the body has gotten over its trauma. (Ah, then surgery is another whopper of a trauma.) So if our gay friends continue to be traumatized by society, it's going to be mighty difficult to heal.

Maybe these commentaries don't have a conclusion because the conclusion has to be individualized. Sometimes we just need a hug, a laugh, not a prod, not instruction. Sometimes those things just can't be talked about until we can understand each other at a level deeper than words. Then when we talk about things that hurt, we won't have to wrestle with motives; we can move past suspicion and can focus instead on the ideas.
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And lest I be misunderstood: I do stand by the Church and I agree that sexual acts outside of marriage is immoral and that marriage is between one man and one woman and therefore by logic, all homosexual intercourse is immoral.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"But if I say, "Man, you are gay. You might want to look at options for not living the gay lifestyle," I'd probably not survive to tell of it."


And what would those options be exactly? As if there were more than one. Reparative therapy? Doesn't work (as least the APA agrees it doesn't). Religious life? I really don't think that religious orders are keen on taking "the gays" in because often homosexuality gets mixed up with the pedophilia scandals. So there's single life, which is a kind of an informal 'religious life' in that you are giving up earthly desire for God, but I would venture to guess a gay person wouldn't find a ton of support within the Catholic community to help him/her maintain this life. At least not where I am living. What a burden to place on someone. While society at large is definitely traumatizing gay and lesbian people, the Catholic church has a big role to play in the hurting and isolation glbt individuals.

A great many Catholics have had premarital sex and use birth control (not saying it's right-but it's the way it is). So why aren't they ostracized and labelled "intrinsically disordered" as often as homosexuals--if all sex should be within the confines of marriage and leading to procreation? I would even say that the straight unmarried people aren't on their knees asking God to change them and their 'sexually deviant ways' as often as gay people do when they come to the realization of who they are.

Just some random babbling...I've been thinking about this stuff a lot lately :o)

seeking_something said...

Thanks for the comment.

Before I begin, let me put forth what I believe: (1) God loves all and (2) the just return for God's love is love for God.

True enough. The options are only two: (1) live celibate or (2) live as a heterosexual. Not very pleasant options for glbt. I agree it's unfair. It's unfair for handicapped people and it's unfair for people with addictions as well. It calls for heroic effort that can only besustained by belief in God, belief in God's love, and belief that to abstain is the appropriate expression of love for God and for neighbor.

IMHO

I wouldn't give up on religious orders. Religious life calls for celibacy--heterosexual or homosexual. I would imagine that the caveat is that we'd have to be mature about our sexuality, to be truthful about it, to work to "integrate" sexuality, and that we make every effort not to be an occasion of sin for others. Religious life is about giving all of "us" to God and that means also that we must accept all of "me." Sexuality is part of the picture, but it is not the main picture--it's not the focus.

Yes, pop culture presents the FALSE view that promiscuity and contraception is OK. On the other extreme, the view that sexualiy is taboo or something to be ashamed of is just as unhealthy. Sexuality needs to be placed in proper regards which I won't go into here.

We sinners have a variety of sins we struggle with. Addictions are difficult and shameful. Sexual misconduct is just as difficult and shameful. GLBT issues are not the only difficult issues the Church addresses. I am sorry, truly sorry, that glbt find the Catholic church unwelcoming. I can only suggest that they search (don't give up) for the right priest, Brother, Sister or Nun ... I am sure that there is one who can be of help. They're human too and their personality won't automatically mesh with yours.

TryingToFollow said...

seeking_something,

Your post and comment are very good. You seem to express well how I understand the church views homosexuality.

I find that the challenge is when a homosexual will not let me accept them unless I accept thier homosexuality. They seem to rebuke the "love the sinner but hate the sin" statement. How do I get past that?

seeking_something said...

Yeah, that is difficult. Some glbt wave their homosexuality as a battle flag and pretty much challenge you to a duel. There are so many other facets to our lives that it makes no sense to end all dialogue based on one disagreement. And dialogue requires a willingness on both sides. Aside from prayer, I think the best we (on either side of the issue) can do is to not engage in the negative attitudes. If we can agree to find common ground, then we can take a break and come back to some unifying point.