a surmise

The CDP's had a discernment meeting Monday. I sorta crashed it. It's not an official crash, since I was invited. But they and I know that I am not participating in the discerning. It's been a long time since I've visited with them and I took this as an opportunity to see them again. They're really cool folks. I owe them much. They launched my discernment, walking with me from the time my only vocabulary was "nun," and I was star-struck in the presence of "nuns," and religious life was pure mystery. So see, had they been "uncool," my whole discernment may have never taken off.

They gave me many "firsts." Unfortunately, they were also my first encounter with inclusive language and were receipients of my shock and vehement protest of the idea. Uh, I think I've mellowed some but it definitely is not for me.

Sitting there on Monday, it occurred to me for the first time why I didn't quite fit with their community. It seems to me that at this time, my sense of God is predominantly cognitive. For the CDP's, the experience of God is more affective (not sure that's the right word). Or should I say they "experience" God while I "think" God.