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obedience IS difficult

Friday, September 07, 2007

Obedience is difficult. When I last met with my Dominican liason, she had challenged me to spend 15 minutes daily to meditate on God, and to begin pronto. This was based on the fact that my spiritual director has repeatedly urged me to adopt such a habit. I balked at the challenge because I had failed so many times at this endeavour.

But because I love my Dominican liason and consider her a most wonderful gift from God, I resolved the next day to follow her prompting. I was no stellar performer at this, and at my next meeting with my spiritual director, we discussed the matter some. Then after that meeting, I pretty much fell off the wagon as obligations once again crowded my schedule. So busy was I that there were several nights when I had but a few hours of sleep. But things have now leveled off (for the moment) and I need to try and get back on the wagon.

Today is first Friday, and we have Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament at my parish. I stopped by for my 15 minutes with the Lord. (Sorry, I can't do and hour yet.) In the incredibly long 15 minutes, my mind lollygagged hither tither. But it did occur to me that if my Lord had requested that spend 15 minutes with him daily, then I have in effect said to my Lord, "I can't." Now that ain't gonna cut it is it?

What do you do when you fall down? You get back up. And if you fall down again? You just get back up again. So here I go again.

Hopefully I'll have a better report when I meet with my spiritual director next week.