rodeo

I guess I've not mentioned one of the biggest events in this big city. It's the livestock show and rodeo. Trail riders still trek hundreds of miles on their horses and wagons to this city for this event. The rodeo parade was Saturday morning: horses, riders in jeans and cowboy hats, horse- pony- or mule-drawn wagons, floats and bands. All these marching bands know about coming up after the horses and having to trod over the horse puckey. This city also has a mounted police force. We also have bicycling and motorcycle police force, but it was the horse-mounted force that was in the parade.

Kinda interesting...there are groups of "white" cowboys, and then groups of "Mexican" cowboys, then groups of "black" cowboys. I say cowboys but there are also cowgirls. And please forgive the lingo...I am grossly simplifying.

It just about always rain on this parade, and this morning was no different. Our newscaster joked that the humidity was high, so high in fact that the humidity is coming down on them. Nonetheless the folks turn out to line the streets.

This livestock show and rodeo lasts for roughly a month. Aside from the usual cowboy and livestock fare, there are also concerts and festival rides. The show also raises money for scholarships and gives a chance for the kids to show off their livestock. The high school by our house has a livestock barn just down the street; I bet they have entries. I don't usually go to the rodeo, but I was there once. I am most entertained by the rodeo announcers' commentaries; they exemplify "color commentary."

Yeah, it's another one of the big events that I don't go see. There are lots of big events, but I think the livestock show and rodeo is the biggest.

Lent

Wishing all a most blessed Lenten season. Hopefully you had a great kick-off on Ash Wednesday.

just checking in

Huh? What? February is almost over? And Lent is starting in a day or so? I guess I won't be doing much planning as to what to do for Lenten penance.

I don't remember much of last week. So that recaps that.

This past Sunday I was able to sit down and chat with one of the Dominicans. Poor Sister, she didn't see it coming. It was impromptu. I guess I failed to emphasize that it was no emergency and that I was just in the neighborhood and needed to while away a little time. Being the giving person that she is, she agreed to meet with me on the fly.

I also learned that my volunteer duties were a bit more extensive for this upcoming weekend. That was a surprise. I have a Dominican dinner date for the upcoming Sunday. If all goes well, the volunteer event won't run into the Dominican dinner.

I went to an organ concert. This was in support of a friend who went in support of a friend. Organ is not my favorite instrument. On top of that, this particular organist's music taste does not gel with mine. I've heard wonderful organ solos, but these didn't make sense to me--it was just a bunch of sounds. I can't remember any of it. If they were to be played again, I'd have no chance of recognizing them.

Oh, yeah, Chinese New Year was a surprise too. Happy New Year to all. And belated Happy Presidents' Day.

BTW, it looks like Sr. Steph has returned to blogging.

fire extinguisher

I stopped by a restaurant on the way home to get dinner. I placed my "to go" order then left to run a quick errand. When I returned, the order was still not ready. The counter person greeted me then left to enter the kitchen. Some yelling in the kitchen ensued. Maybe the yelling is just how they communicated. I stood there and watied. With nothing to do, my eyes wandered. Behold: in the corner, on the floor, tucked behind a large planter is their fire extinguisher. The plant itself is not leafy and the fire extinguisher is easily accessible in between the four trunks of the plant.

When she came back with my order, I tried to tell her in a low voice that it's not good to have the fire extinguisher where it was, that it needed to be on the wall near the kitchen entrance, and that they might get ticketed if inspected. She didn't understand (they were of foreign descent). So we went the pointing route ... not that, not that, not the plant ... yes, the thing in the corner! Yeah, it should be here on the wall.

Ok, so maybe the issue is not that they might get ticketed; rather, it's that the fire extinguisher should be readily accessible. They're usually mounted on the wall both so that they can be seen and also so that things on the floor won't block their access.

Here is the actual NFPA wording:

The employer shall provide portable fire extinguishers and shall mount, locate
and identify them so that they are readily accessible to employees without
subjecting the employees to possible injury.

And here is the OSHA recommendation:

To prevent fire extinguishers from being moved or damaged, they should be
mounted on brackets or in wall cabinets with the carrying handle placed 3-1/2 to
5 feet above the floor. Larger fire extinguishers need to be mounted at lower
heights with the carrying handle about 3 feet from the floor.

reference:
http://www.osha.gov/SLTC/etools/evacuation/portable_placement.html

women, unite

Women, unite! Or at least network.
85 Broads is a network for women. Check them out.

“85 Broads connects women across geographies, generations, academic institutions, and cultures. We are more than a community of 16,000 women. We are the women who will lead companies, win the Nobel peace prize, dance on the Broadway stage, find the cure for cancer, and invent new technologies. We will accomplish everything we ever wanted to accomplish in life by sharing the best of what we have with each other.” Janet Hanson, Founder, 85 Broads

I heard about them on CBS News.

bumper sticker

Seen on a black and white bumper sticker some days ago:

"What would Buddha do?"

ha ha

better

I did take sick leave today. Slept almost until noon. Got up, ate lunch and popped some pills then slept again (sitting up this time) until 4:30. So I slept the whole day just about. I do feel better. The headache is largely gone, though I feel as if it's still on the fringes with the possibility of coming back. I don't feel a hundred percent; that my just be due to all the sleeping. But I do feel capable of functioning now.

Thanks, T.O., for the well wishes!

ugh

I don't feel so good. I took two Tylenols and a Mucinex Friday night. Then again Saturday morning. Then again Saturday afternoon. I refrained from taking another dose on Saturday night. Sunday morning I peeled myself out of bed, went to mass, did my volunteer thing, then ran some errands, came home to eat lunch then was back out again. I filled up the car and picked up dinner then I'm home for the day. I took an hour and a half nap. My head was really bothering me and I didn't want to get up. But I managed crawl out of bed, took two Tylenols and two Mucinex this time, then hopped in the shower, then I ate dinner then washed the dishes. I've more stuff to do but I'll just get up super early in the morning to take care of it. I sure want to call in sick tomorrow, but I doubt that it'd happen. If I feel this crappy tomorrow, then I'll reconsider.

tidbits

This past Saturday I was at an ordination ceremony for 32 permanent deacons. Cool. The mass was 4 hours long.
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Announced on Sunday at all masses: the order which runs our parish will be pulling out of the region. Starting next Summer, we will have new leadership for the parish. It was a difficult announcement to make; I'm sure our pastor would've preferred to just have to make it once, but he did it at every mass.

I'll post further thoughts on the matter only if there is any expressed interest.
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Revelation: training wheels on a bicycle do nothing to help the rider learn to ride a bike.
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Lisa Nowak. It's a sad story. But it's good that no one got maimed. I pray for the well being of all involved. Our astronauts are people who are "cream of the crop," "pick of the litter." They have credentials and accomplishments that would make anybody's head spin. Much is asked of our astronauts. They are among our national heros (heroines). Let us not be disrespectful.

DU

Natty has raised my awareness of depleted uranium, or DU for short. If this is true, it is a catastrophy of horrendous proportions.

nothing new under the sun

While the battle still hung in the balance, the crusades, introducing a new method and color of thought from the East, and the general diffusion of the teaching of Aristotle, injected a new element into the struggle, and one that was hostile to the spirit of feudalism. The new spirit triumphed; schools multiplied, scholars abounded, universities sprang up and numbered their students by the thousands. The whole age was marked by rapid and radical changes, great ideas and mighty movements, many of which have endured with undiminished influence to the present day. It was altogether a forceful, impetuous and chivalrous age, possessed of a giant's strength and a child's discretion. Indeed, the thirteenth century's tireless quest of truth has often been likened to the persistent inquisitiveness of a precocious child.

But this intellectual revival was not without its disquieting element. Human reason, fostered and developed under the guidance of the Church in the middle years of the twelfth century, dazzled by the consciousness of its own power, began to take on an overweening arrogance towards faith and authority. From this time on it asserted its absolute and undivided supremacy in the realm of knowledge, human and divine. It undertook to measure all truth by the capacity of its own understanding. Faith was impugned, dogma challenged, and even the mystery of the Trinity was held to be not beyond the reach of scholastic analysis. It placed its own judgments above God Himself, and demanded that they be accepted as the infallible criteria of truth. St. Bernard thus describes how generally this spirit had permeated the times: "Along the streets and in the squares people dispute about the Catholic Faith, about the child-bearing of the Virgin, about the Sacrament of the altar, and about the incomparable mystery of the Trinity." Of course, this license in human thought could have but one effect, and that a disastrous one, on the souls of men and the cause of truth alike.

hmm... sounds like today, actually

Saint Dominic and the Order of Preachers
VERY REV. J. B. O'CONNOR, O.P., P. G.

communications?

I don't spend that much time thinking about homosexual issues. I've read only a very few things on it. Today I ran across this article, titled The Homosexual Condition. Maybe it's just me, but I keep expecting to see a conclusion but not seeing it. Reading these things leave me feeling like I've only been given half a breath and I'm still waiting for the other half. Again, maybe it's just me, I was required to take remedial reading classes after all.

I mean, I get it that I don't condemn or else disrespect anyone just because they're "gay." But how do I manage to communicate acceptance and at the same time say "you need fixing, something is broken." Hey, I'd be the first to admit that I need fixing ... I sure ain't perfect. But I don't have the general population singling me out for some fixing. How can I communicate that it's not that I'm better than you, it's not that I pity you; how can I communicate without seeming self-righteous or holier-than-thou? I can say, "Dude, you have a knife in your side. You might want to see about getting it removed" and there probably won't be too much repercussion. But if I say, "Man, you are gay. You might want to look at options for not living the gay lifestyle," I'd probably not survive to tell of it.

Speaking of trauma ... I remember when I had a joint that needed surgery. That surgery didn't come until weeks later. If I understand correctly, the doctor is not fixing the joint until the body has gotten over its trauma. (Ah, then surgery is another whopper of a trauma.) So if our gay friends continue to be traumatized by society, it's going to be mighty difficult to heal.

Maybe these commentaries don't have a conclusion because the conclusion has to be individualized. Sometimes we just need a hug, a laugh, not a prod, not instruction. Sometimes those things just can't be talked about until we can understand each other at a level deeper than words. Then when we talk about things that hurt, we won't have to wrestle with motives; we can move past suspicion and can focus instead on the ideas.
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And lest I be misunderstood: I do stand by the Church and I agree that sexual acts outside of marriage is immoral and that marriage is between one man and one woman and therefore by logic, all homosexual intercourse is immoral.

anecdote

I remember a story which illustrates how the time of praise may interact with the time of the clock, the time of modernity. When one of my brethren was a child at school, a dentist came to give lessons in dental hygiene to the children. He asked the class when they must clean their teeth. There was absolute silence. He said, `Come on, you know when you must clean your teeth. In the morning and in the evening ... ' This touched a button in the minds of these good Catholic children who knew their catechism. And they all carried on `before and after meals'. `Excellent,' said the dentist. `In times of temptation and in the hour of our death'. Well, if we always cleaned our teeth in the hours of temptation, we might avoid many sins!

The Bear and the Nun : What is the Sense of Religious Life Today!
An address to the Major Religious Superiors of France, October, 1998
Fr. Timothy Radcliffe, OP

utilitarian

I had attended one of Fr. Cedric Pisegna's talk some time ago. I remember his analogy of the Dead Sea: that unless we give to others, we have no life. The Dead Sea does not feed another body of water. OK.

But this relative of ours, with the mental illness which robs the memory, laments in moments of lucidness, "I am useless to anyone." This is utilitarian. This is the logic of "If I am unproductive and useless, then I am worthless." So I ask you, where will your head be if you find yourself unable to contribute to society? Do you define yourself by what you can do?

I, myself, think that I exist so that I may be of help to someone--I know not who, but it is my special task to help at least this one specific person. That sort of thinking leads me to conclude that I would become useless as soon as I am unable to be of help to others. So then the question is: "Is it ever possible to be of no help to others?" I concluded, "No."

Couldn't I somehow, should I cease to be able to care and think for myself, be of inspiration for others? Couldn't God speak to others through my state of senselessness? In caring for me, couldn't my caregivers turn hearts and minds to God, to grow in love and service and gratitude for what IS in contrast to what isn't?

We do have the responsibility to help ourselves and others as we are able. But if we are unable, that doesn't make us worthless.

Will what is made say to its maker, "Why have you created me so?" Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for a noble purpose and another for an ignoble one? (Rm 9:20-21)

May our very existence glorify God.

community

But if community is what draws the young to religious life, it is the difficulty of community life that makes so many give up. We aspire to communion and yet it is so painful to live. When I meet young Dominicans in formation, I often ask what they find best and worst about religious life, and they usually give the same answer to both questions: living in community. That is because we are all the children of this age, moulded by its perception of the modern self. We are not wolves in sheep's clothing. We are bears in nuns' habits!

Perhaps one could say that in religious life we live the mirror image of the crisis of the modern self. The modern self aspires to an autonomy, a freedom, a detachment that is impossible to sustain, because no one can be human alone. We need to belong to communities to be human at all, whatever we may think. But we religious live the mirror image of this drama. We enter religious life aspiring for community, longing to be truly brothers and sisters of each other, and yet we are products of modernity, marked by its individualism, its fear of commitment, its hunger for independence. Most of us are born into families with 1.5 children and it is hard to live with the crowd. And so the modern self and the religious life are alternative aspects of the same tension. The modern selfdreams of an impossible autonomy, and we religious aspire to a community which is hard to sustain.

The Bear and the Nun : What is the Sense of Religious Life Today!
An address to the Major Religious Superiors of France, October, 1998
Fr. Timothy Radcliffe, OP

purpose

I may disagree with Sr. JC at times, but I do admit that she communicates stuff that is of considerable value to us all.

Excerpts taken (without permission) from THE FIRE IN THESE ASHES,
by Joan Chittister, OSB

On the other hand, Mother Sylvester, my first prioress, made two trips to our novitiate yearly. In both of them, she came to ask us only one question. Patience was her hallmark; she tutored us with measured steps. In fact, she viewed with great benignity the fact that most novices failed the test rather routinely at the time of her first visit. At the same time, she was anything but complacent if we failed it at the time of her second one. "Why have you come to religious life?" she asked each of us in turn, arms folded under her scapular, head tilted down to scrutinize us over her glasses as she scanned us around the table. At first blush, we made up wonderful answers: "To give our lives to the church," the pious said; "To save our souls," the cautious said; "To convert the world," the zealots said. But no, no, no, she signaled with a shake of the head. Not that. Not that. Not that. "You come to religious life, dear sisters," she said sadly, "only to seek God."

Only to seek God. The answer stuns in its simplicity. In its ubiquitousness. In its universality. In its demands. The awful truth of the answer changes everything. For the person who cannot find God here, staying here is a mistake. For the person who does not seek God here, leaving here is an imperative. For the person who can find God better someplace else, leaving here is a grace.

and unfortunately no, I don't own the book and have not read the book ... God bless the Sisters who sent me this (it's a longer excerp than this) for reflection

candle

I've been to a few discernment events. My personal experience is that you never leave those events empty-handed. You might get literature, pens, rosaries, prayer cards, magnets, cookies, or such. I got a candle from the Benedictines. I also got a candle from the Dominicans (and a wall cross, Dominican magnet, generic notepad, generic pen, generic pencil, Domican notecards, Dominican postcards, and a Dominican bookmark made by one of my favorite Dominicans).

The Dominican weekend discernment retreat started today, so I lit my Dominican candle tonight. And I will do so tomorrow night as well. This is the candle from the very same retreat that I attended last year. We each lit our candle on the first night and they stayed on until we blew them out and took them home with us on Sunday. I have the candle in my room so that I don't forget to put it out before going to bed, I won't be leaving it on unattended. But what was cool was that I brought my lit candle into the room without turning on the light. I was amazed at how much light the candle gave, how much darkness was dispelled. It kinda cheered me up.

Then I turned on the lights because it makes the computer glare less glaring.

Discernment Invite (top posted)

You are warmly invited

to spend a discernment weekend

with the Dominican Sisters,
January 26-28, 2007
in San Antonio, Texas

begins at 6p.m. on Friday with dinner
ends on Sunday after morning prayer and sending forth

contacts:
Sr. Geri Kline, OP
210-349-7084
San Antonio

Sr. Pat Casey, OP
713-747-3310
Houston

Sr. Helen Marie Raycraft, OP
512-385-1719
Austin

Open to women ages 18-40
$35 is requested to defer meal costs

Come, join us! You'll be glad you did.

Hey, they're expecting about 9 discerners already! It's not too late, won't you come too?

colors

I met with my spiritual director today. We did something a little different. We tried tapping into my subconscious; a little art approach. I never said what my profession is, but you can safely rule out "artist." I did my best to cooperate, following directions to draw lines and colors in association with various emotion words. I was left alone to tackle these tasks, first the lines, then the colors. I, who live in my head almost all the time, who spend minimal time discussing my emotions, and who have never had any affinity for abstract art, was at a loss but did put something down on paper. Each time my SD left the room then returned, I was finished with the task at hand. No point in prolonging; I'm not going to have any better insight in 40 minutes than in 2 minutes. I don't know if anything came out of it, but I agreed to try to "think outside the box" for a while. I'll make an effort to think colors each day, something like "I feel bengal-tiger-striped black and orange today" or "bannana yellow and almost white" or "overdue bill pink" ... you get the idea

Christina Aguilera

Wow.
Gumby wanted the Christina Aguilera Back to Basics CD. So I got last week. Gumby has been raving over it. Well last night I heard CD2 of the set and am absolutely blown away by:

Hurt
Have Mercy on Me
Save Me from Myself
The Right Man

I could listen to those over and over. Just ... Wow.

some goodness

On the battlefront: some people would die (figuratively speaking) to have the job I have, and yet I am still struggling to be appreciative of my job. If nothing else, it helps me to identify with those who struggle with gratitude, who struggle to realize the blessings they've been given ... it is one thing to "understand cognitively" and quite another to "take to heart."

Some good things...
An old friend and former co-worker came in from New York and some of us got together over lunch last week. My original workgroup scattered over the years but we haven't totally lost contact with each other. Four of us got together for lunch and I popped in late (meetings all day) and visited a little. We hadn't seen each other in over a year; it was nice.

Saturday I was able to attend mass with the Dominicans. As one of the Sisters described it: typically it's "not the most life-giving mass," but I enjoy being with them. As it turned out, one of my favorite Dominicans gave the homily. And yes, it was good. It was an impromptu thing and I wasn't in the best of shape (i.e. I, uh, probably could've use a shower), so I hope my ragged appearance didn't challenge them too much.

Sunday I did my parish volunteer thing then ran off to buy dinner. I delivered two to some folks and the other two I took home. Then off I went to see Father Mitch Pacwa, another favorite. He's in town from Alabama. I couldn't do the fundraising dinner the day before, but this talk is free. You know, we do hear voices in our heads. They're voices of people we love. It might be your mom or dad, for example. Father Mitch's voice is one of those for me, as is my pastor's. It didn't matter what the subject was, whatever Father Mitch is talking about, I wanted to go see him. So I did. It was good to see some familiar faces too, faces from "Catholic circles" like from my own parish, from daily mass (it's at another parish), some of the Sisters from across town, a choir director I hadn't seen in a while, and a priest I hadn't seen since the last similar activity.

Tonto was at evening mass elsewhere while I attended the talk. Tonto came back all on fire; it was a wonderful mass with much good news and great motivation. Now Tonto has finished eating and is on edge over the football game between Indiana and New England. :)

This evening is one of quiet joy.

A-Z meme

Seen at Natty's blog and Sr. Sandy, CSJP's blog ...

[A is for apparitions - your favorite]: St. Faustina, on several of her travels, was accompanied by an angel. But on one such occasion, she also saw and angel over each church. I like that: an angel guards each of our parishes.
[B is for Bible - the one you read most often]: New American Bible
[C is for Charism - the one you would most like to have]: I would like to be able to bring Jesus to people, that when they see me, they see not me but Him.
[D is for Doctor of the Church - your favorite]: I don't know them. I've only read St. Augustine of Hippo's "Confessions," so St. Augustine it is
[E is for Essential Prayer - What’s yours?]: Hail Mary
[F is for Favorite Hymn]: so many ... Lord When You Came to the Seashore
[G is for Gospel - your favorite author?]: St. John
[H is for Holy Communion - How would you describe it, using one word?]: Sacrament
[I is for Inspiration - When do you feel most inspired by God?]: unfortunately, I don't have an answer
[J is for Jesus - When did you first meet Him?]: I was very little (haven't started school yet, I don't think). Some strangers came to our house. After they left I asked my mother who they were. She told me they came to tell her of some man who was nailed to a cross through his hands a feet. I was very sad to hear of it, and sad every time I thought of it. Looking back, I'm sure they were referring to Jesus.
[K is for Kindness - Which saint or person has most inspired you by their kindness?]: The famed St. Francis of Assisi and the legend of him inspiring a wayward priest to repent.
[L is for liturgical year - your favorite time in the liturgical cycle?]: Holy Week
[M is for Mary, the Mother of God - Your favorite term of endearment for her]: Queen of Heaven
[N is for New Testament - Your favorite passage]: the paraphrase "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
[O is for Old Testament - Your favorite Book here]: both books of Samuel (technically it's one isn't it?)
[P is for Psalms - your favorite]: Psalm 27
[Q is for quote - saint quote]: St. Augustine: My heart is restless until it rests in You. (again, from my very limited exposure)
[R is for rosary - your favorite mysteries]: uh...don't have one ... I'll pick the Glorious Mysteries
[S is for Saint - the one you turn to in time of need - not including the Blessed Virgin Mary]: uh..I .don't do that much ... I'll pick St. Francis of Assisi
[T is for Tradition - your favorite Catholic tradition]: all male, educated, celibate priesthood
[U is for university - Which Catholic University have you attended or are currently attending?]: none
[V is for Virtue - the one you wish you had]: kindness, compassion
[W is for Way of the Cross - Which station can you most relate to?]: dunno...Jesus falls the first time ... then after that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the strength to keep getting up
[X is for Xaverian Brothers - Do you know who they are?]: no
[Y is for your favorite Catholic musician]: I don't know of any. Roderick Bell? Rawn Harbor?
[Z is for Zeal for the faith]: Jesus!

what I am to know

I tried to quiet my thoughts. I tried to leave room for Jesus to speak to me. I tried to listen. I asked Jesus, there during exposition, what it is that I should know, what does He want me to know.

And it could be my imagination ...

His reply:
"I love you."

that odd feeling

It's kinda awkward. We're civil to each other. We, in fact, are generally friendly. But it's superficial. I get odd feelings sometimes that the friendliness isn't genuine. That puts me on edge. Yet each time we do meet, it's all hunky-dory. But outside of that, I pick up on something that leaves me unsure, something that I can't put my finger on. So then I have to decide whether it matters or not. When is it a sign to read and heed, and when is it a mere distraction?

nest egg

We have a box in the garage where we collect paper for recycling. I don't usually read the paper. It's Tonto who usually goes through the paper. Anyhow I was standing in the garage waiting for Tonto for whatever reason and happened to spot a title on the paper for an article on the Roth IRA. Here's a really quick run down based on the article.

Contributions to a 401K is usually through the company with whom you are employed and are made with pre-tax dollars. There is a limit on how much you can contribute and you are required to start withdrawing at age 59 1/2 years old. You are taxed on the money you withdraw; which says that the money in the 401K is not all yours. You can borrow from yourself, usually up to 50% of what you have in your 401K. You pay yourself interest when you pay your loan back into the 401K. The interestesting thing is that even though you pay back with taxed dollars, you are still going to be taxed when you withdraw from the 401K.

Contributions to a Roth IRA is made with taxed dollars, which means that when you go to withdraw, you're not taxed. You are not required to withdraw at a certain age, meaning that you can leave it as a legacy to whomever. And I'm not sure, but I don't think there is a limit to how much you can put into a Roth IRA.

Given that tax rates are likely to go up as years go by, it makes more sense to go ahead and pay your taxes now (i.e. Roth IRA). The 401K makes sense if your company matches your contributions -- make the contributions required to get your company's match.

I'm not money savvy, but that's the understanding I got from the article. I've not cross referenced it to other views; you're welcomed to do so. I just wanted to share this tidbit in case it may be of help to others.

memories

We have a relative who has that disease that affects the memory. It is not yet so advanced that she has no recognition of people. It may take a few seconds or minutes, but eventually she comes through with the recognition.

She can ask a question and within 10 minutes forget that she had asked the question. She spent the latter half of the day with us, and yet she will have no memory of it. In fact, by the time we brought her back home, she had no memory of ever eating dinner. We gave her another piece of the same pie she had hours before, and she has no memory of having ever eaten that pie. So literally, this is a person who lives only in the present moment.

The mystery for me is that if you cannot remember what happened 10 minutes ago, how do you piece together your day? Is every day the same? When you think back to your morning, is it the same "morning memory" that gets played? When you think back to an hour ago, is it the same picture for that particular time of day?

It seems to me that if you are diagnosed with this disease, then it's time to make happy memories. It's time to let go of petty things, time to help strangers so that you might remember that you make a difference without the expectation of seeing them again, time to gather with other people so that you don't "remember" that your days were spent in loneliness, time to plan your days so that you look forward to an enjoyable activity, so that if you're stuck in a moment in time it'd be a pleasant moment.

one

It seems that we are now the only ones on our street with our Christmas lights still lit every night. Gumby wants them down on the 7th.

We'll see. I have retreat this weekend, starting Friday night. (Please pray for our retreatants. Thanks.) Whether I take those lights down on Sunday depends on the weather and on how I feel upon returning from the retreat.

this is a bit early, but I won't have time to post later:

Happy Birthday to Natty!

daily reflection

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops have daily reflections in Realplayer, Windows Media, and Podcast formats. The reflections are done by clergy from around the USA.

our calendar

We follow the Gregorian calendar. It turns out that it wasn't some guy name Gregory who came up with the scheme. Rather, Pope Gregory XIII declared the scheme proposed by Aloysius Lilius as the official calendar for the Church. The Church needed some consistent way to set a date for Easter. Even with our calendar, Easter is no easy thing like a specific date or day every year. Instead, Easter is set as the first Sunday after the first full moon of Spring.

Our calendar year is the average time between "vernal equinoxes" -- the moment when the sun is at earth equator in its passing from south to north in March. At this time, the day and night are approximately of equal length. The calendar is an imperfect predictor because the earth's orbit is not mechanically exact. What our calendar gives us is an approximation and every so many years, we adjust it with an extra day in February--the extra day being February 24 with the month having 29 days.

You can read all about it and have your own headache at Webexhibits http://webexhibits.org/calendars/year-astronomy.html

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

to all

baby on the way

Happy Birthday to Tiger Woods. The golfing wonder is now 31 years old. Congratulations to him and his wife: they have a baby on the way.
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One of our cassette players wasn't working. So I spent some time excercising the FWD and REV functions, thinking that maybe it was just a little crusty from lack of use. I discovered that I could make it play just a little by cycling the pause button. Boy, I was real smug when I discovered that I could make it really play by only halfway depressing the pause button. Then I opened it to remove the tape and found several feet of accordion-ed tape. I tried to save what I could, resorting to splicing when I had to cut out a section that had been stretched to a thread (probably from my trying to yank it out of the machine where it stuck). Gee, can anyone remember the last time they had to splice a cassette tape? Can anyone remember having cassette tapes? Anyhow, so some of the tape is still good. But the best news of all: the player now plays.

it's a shame

Saddam Hussein has been executed. It's a friggin' shame that capital punishment is still practiced. I have no sympathy for the guy, but answering violence with violence is not the way to go. If nothing else, it's dumb. This is what you do when you can't figure out an elegant solution--you basically try to "flush away your problem."

Dear God, teach us your ways and deliver us from darkness.

One Church One Community

One Church One Community -- help rebuild our parishes

I love being Catholic

Why am I Catholic? Because Catholicism rings true to me; it makes sense. I agree that the cross doesn't have much meaning until Jesus got crucified on it and hence the crucifix upon which we gaze. It may be a surprise to Protestants, but yes, we Catholics are well aware that Jesus is risen. (Are Protestants aware that time is not linear for God?) It is of considerable value for me to gaze upon our Lord's suffering and sacrifice.

I believe that Jesus himself heads our Church, that we've an unbroken heritage all the way back to the apostles. It makes sense to me that we don't follow just the Bible, but tradition as well. Jesus didn't start a church by handing them a bible; neither did he say to his disciples, "Go forth and write a book." The printing press didn't arrive until much later in history; the people were generally uneducated, few were literate, and books were rare. Thus comes forth the rich Catholic art for telling the stories of the bible. (Though unfortunately, our exposure to such art is largely of a european bent giving the false impression that Christianity was a "white man's" religion.)

I love the richness of the variety of devotions, the stories of Saints, and love for Jesus' mother. I love that our priests are educated before they can become priests. I love that the order of the mass is relatively universal; that I can be out of town and yet still find a surrogate church home where I belong. I love that the church is not built around a priest, that another priest can come in take over the pastorship and we'd still be Catholic. I love that we don't sugar-coat life, that we can accept suffering and still gaze heavenward.

There is so much more I can say, but I think I'll stop here and go to bed.

my Christmas

Last week I was rather sleep deprived, so when I could go to bed at a reasonable time, I did so instead of blogging. Life is rather busy; surely you don't want to know every detail of my oh-so-ordinary life.

Christmas is going just fine. I got my tri-monthly hair cut/shear job on Saturday. Sunday we attended three masses: Sunday mass, one of the Christmas masses at my parish where I had volunteer duty, and then midnight mass at the cathedral. Much as I love our bishop, I dozed off a few times. It was cold in the cathedral and that only makes me sleepier. Monday was social time. Today was another social, then home for dinner and chilling out and getting ready for the week. It's back to work as usual tomorrow; we've a deadline at week's end.

It's sort of funny: the morning news on Christmas day showed various church celebrations. When it showed the Catholic celebration, the attendance was rather sparse with many empty pews. It must've been the 7am mass. Had they been there at midnight mass, they'd have scarcely found room for their camera--the cathedral was packed even with the choir in the balcony. I am fairly certain that every Christmas anticipatory mass at my own parish was packed as well.

I am a bit heavy hearted tonight. I just heard from my friend, a Sister; her mother is very ill with cancer. Somehow, I just don't think the cancer will go away this time. There is nothing that I can say that could possibly be of any help. I perused the Bible but did not find anything that seemed suitable. I did promise to keep them in my prayers. My blogging friends, please send a prayer their way. Thanks.

M E R R Y

C H R I S T M A S !

to all

find thy happiness

I've been kinda bummed out for a while. Yeah, like I-don't-care-if-I-live-or-die bummed out. I've realized that I'm not very capable of making myself happy. That is not a good thing. It is unwise to enter into a relationship without first knowing how to care for your own happiness. You cannot rely on others to help you be happy. That's just not a good thing.

Even being mildly angry about the fact that the people in the city parts of China are not free to have more than one dog, and that the dog cannot be big, and that they have to get rid of the "extra" and bigger dogs they already own did not shake my bummedness.

I know I enjoy bicycling. I've just been too bummed out to drag myself out of bed in the wee hours of morning for that 7am or even 8am ride. I used to do it when I had a goal: the MS150 two-day ride from Houston to Austin. I don't have that goal anymore; my personal spending into the trip is a bit too much and the donation amount is more than I think I can beg for. But maybe I'll get my butt up and continue the rides anyways.

I also feel like I need to get away sometimes. I need more alone time at home, but that hardly ever happens. There's just two of us here, but the other party is almost always at home when I'm home.

So bicycling it will be. Maybe not this upcoming weekend though, since it's so close to Christmas.

survived another week

I've been generally bummed out. I slept late Saturday morning, so I ran my errands a little late and in fact miscalculated and was not able to complete one of the errands. Got to the Dominican morning prayer event a little late too.

I had a great time with the Dominicans. I was quite beautiful.

Then I came home and continued being bummed. I watched a show about boys and how some schools are trying to help boys in school by separating the girls and boys allowing the boys to have more physical activity in the classroom. I think that's a great idea. It will be a while before we see the results. It's so sad to see how some kids dropped out of school simply because they didn't have hope for the future. Gee, if only I could be there to tell them what I know, to hopefully give them the oomph to continue.

Then I put up some Christmas lights outside. You'd think by now I'd know to test a string of lights before putting them up. Oh well, I am bull-headed sometimes. Then I put up two garlands around the windows inside. Then Gumby and I started on the Crhistmas card list. It's a bit involved; I won't go into the details. Anyhow, after quitting that and taking my shower, I had about 2 hours of sleep then off to 7:30 a.m. mass.

I survived my scripture sharing talk. Thanks be to God. I had asked the Holy Spirit that my listeners would hear what the Holy Spirit intends, regardless of what comes out of my mouth. The person in charge was satisfied with my work, saying that I should have been doing this two years ago.

Here's the deal: I suffer from stage fright. I do not know what trauma has caused it, but it's beyond my control. I will start out ok, hence a short and brief talk like today works. But after a little bit, I will actually start to shake/shiver/quiver. I hide it as best as I can by tensing my muscles. I am as relaxed as I can be at the start, but my body will eventually do this weird thing. It was getting to that point this morning, but my talk ended before I have to be standing up in front of everybody like that. Instead, I continue my little fight in my seat (once it starts, it takes a while to go away). My other volunteer stint followed and it went ok, only a few glitches but nothing catastrophic. So it's been a good Sunday morning.

sight to see

There's this guy who hocks his wares at patch of green by a gas station on the corner of a busy street. I've seen him and his wares before; I'm thinking around Easter. Now it's around Christmas and he's back. And what are his wares?

He has a curious collection of animals. No, not live ones. They seem to be, on average 4-6 feet tall. And it doesn't matter what they are. It could be a frog or a horse, it'd still be 4-6 ft tall. It's a whole variety of animals there. The last time he was there they were all solid dark brown. Tonight he has them in a round pen, closely gathered. He might have been closed for business. Tonight, I saw what must have easily been a 10-ft rooster, white with large dots. It was standing all by itself outside of the pen. Since it was dark, I couldn't make out the colors of the dots (also, did I mention that it was a busy intersection, and that I was three lanes away?). I also saw a giraffe.

It is a marvelous sight to see.

I don't know who would want a 10-ft tall rooster in their yard, though. For sure it would turn some heads. The home owner's association, however, might just demand that the rooster be gone. But just imagine if the entire neighborhood would have one of these fine creatures in each front yard. Now we're talking Texas!

digest

Dunno. Looks like time and energy just zooms away. I missed quite a few daily masses this past week. I can't even remember the week too well. We did have a sung vespers followed by a short concert on Thursday night and Immaculate Conception mass on Friday night. Saturday I attended a talk on St. Francis of Assisi. This Saturday eve and the Saturday before I attended mass at the Dominican convent. Mass with the Dominicans is a rare occurence because their mass is on Saturday and pretty much in the middle of "errand time."

Next Saturday I hope to attend the Dominican morning prayer event for discerners.
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I asked Tonto that we not have a big Christmas this year. We've spent some major dollars on car repairs in October and this month. Thanksgiving was no small dinner. We've also spent quite a bit on some new clothes this month. I felt that the spending was getting out of control.

We have yet to work on our Christmas cards. However, we have purchased them--enough for at least 100 receipients plus some for this other person who is not able to get out and shop.
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Work feels chaotic. We are at the beginning stages and the situation has been quite fluid. I'm kinda waiting for things to gel at the upper levels, and for clearer direction to flow down. In the meantime, we on the lower levels are still required to keep churning, quite regardless of whether we are churning in the right direction.

Building management threw a pary last week and offered a lunch for all their tenants. Department Christmas party will be this week. Company Christmas party next week.

This coming up Sunday I am on hook to share my reflections on the Gospel reading in one of my volunteer gigs. That's a first for me. I'm also up for the other volunteer gig. This, after being off of both volunteer gigs for at least 3 weeks.

See ya. Stay warm. Stay safe. May all be kind to you.

sad

I'm saddened to hear that James Kim did not survive his ordeal. I had been following the story for several days, marveling at his resourcefulness and hoping that he'd beat the odds. May he rest in peace, knowing that he saved his family.
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May we remember to stock our cars with emergency supplies, including a thermal blanket. There are numerous survival kits out there, some fitting in a sardine can, that are probably very much worth the investment: something with which to start a fire, a compass, something reflective for signalling, a whistle (sure beats yelling), some sort of cutting tool and so on--I don't really know all the contents. A whistle is good to have on hand at all times.

Spirit of Christmas?

I was at the post office. I had one piece of mail to send off. I walked up to the slot and there was a lady there. She had a stack of mail. I estimated that she would have to divide the stack into four smaller ones to fit them through the slot. Thanks to 911, they no longer have the door that allows you to make a big dump; all mail has to go through the slot. She was directly in front of the slot and I was next to it. So after he made her first drop and was "reloading," I stepped forward saying "Excuse me," and slid in my one piece of mail. Then I started to walk away.

"Or you could wait until I finished," she said.
I thought she was joking. I attempted a weak smile and kept walking.
"It would be in the spirit of Christmas, you know" she continued.
Since I am a little dense, I was just then starting to realize as I kept walking that she wasn't joking.

I had no idea that my little intrusion was offensive. I'm used to being around folks who would gladly give you the last piece of pie, or let you go ahead in line because you had just a few groceries, or step aside from the copy machine because you needed just one copy and they had a book to do. It never occurred to me that anyone would object to my stepping in for a split second; no idea that I was violating the spirit of Christmas.

Help me out folks, would you agree that I should have waited until she finished? Or should I have asked if I can jump in?

brrr

Unusually chilly for us Texans at the moment. Yeah, I know it's November and all. We're around freezing temps tonight. The temperature drop was very dramatic as the cold front blew in. At least it's not raining. We southerners are ill-equiped for icy conditions.

It's all relative: I've heard it said that 80 degrees F is a heat wave for New Yorkers; down here, they'd call it a cool front.

I wouldn't be too surprised if it's around 80 degrees F here again come Christmas.
---

Not much blogging because not much is going on. Usual humdrum of going to work, coming home and doing the daily thing, then sleep. I'm definitely not complaining, though.

I've been making it to daily noon mass, though sometimes I'm pretty much asleep through it. One day I dozed during the intercessions (we were standing) and jerked back awake as I was starting to lose my balance. That's goofy to be drowsy while standing at the foot of the cross at Calvary at our Lord's crucifixion, and again at His resurrection. But Lord, I do try; physiology just gets the better of me sometimes.

During the "Holy, holy" one day, when we got to the "Heaven and Earth are full of your glory," it occurred to me that earth was also full of His mercy.

Mass is followed by gobbling of a sanwich as I drive back. It's just two pieces of bread, mayo and two slices of luncheon meat. I don't understand the appeal of deli-thin sliced meat -- it just means that I would now need 5 slices instead of 2. I should try to remember to buy some cucumbers. I like cucumbers in sanwiches.

Pretty dang near had an accident one day. When I see cars at the intersection turning left, my logic says I can turn right. However, it wasn't that they had a dedicated left turn signal, but rather they judged the timing to be suitable for the left turn. So they were turning left and I was turning right, except that the cars plowing down the street could've hit me as the left turning cars cleared. Thanks be to God that there was room for the other cars to manuever to avoid hitting me.

Friday tomorrow. Looking forward to the weekend. Saturday we will be attending some sort of presentation at the Dominican's place. It's probably going to be way over my head, but what the heck, I haven't anything to lose. This Sunday I am free from both volunteer gigs at my parish. That means that I will be free to visit a different parish if I so choose.

birthday meme

Seen at LAMLand

1. Go to Wikipedia.

2. In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.

3. List three events that happened on your birthday:

1261 - Urban IV becomes Pope, the last man to do so without being a Cardinal first.
1756 - Frederick the Great attacks Saxony, beginning the Seven Years' War.
1831 - Michael Faraday discovers electromagnetic induction.

4. List two important birthdays and one death

born 1632 - John Locke, English philosopher (d. 1704)
born 1958 - Michael Jackson, American singer
died 1968 - Ulysses S. Grant III, American soldier and planner (b. 1881)

5. One holiday or observance (if any)

Eastern Orthodox Christianity and Roman Catholic Church commemorate the beheading of John the Baptist with a feast day.

ow

What is up with my head? I left work early on Wednesday because my head hurt. Thursday I had a stuffy head/headache as well. Friday I pretty much slept all day and had to take some pills for my head when I got up. Yesterday, Saturday, I had to take two doses of pills for my headache. Today I have the same stuffy head headache. I've just popped some pills. Much as I'd like to sleep, I'm afraid the sleep will just make the problem worse. It's as if Texas can't have beautiful weather without bringing with it stuff in the air to make you sick. The previous run of beautiful weather had everybody sneezing like crazy.

angry message

A certain person left a phone message today. It was rather angry, calling Tonto a "worthless xxx." See, this person had been of some assistance while Tonto was recovering. This person has recently undergone some medical stuff and apparently was expecting Tonto to at least give some attention. However, we made no hospital visits, and sent no card. Tonto, however, has been of some assistance prior to this and had spoken to the spouse at length days ago.

There are some points to be made. One, it's not "giving" if you do it while counting the costs. It's not "giving" if you demand repayment in one form or another. In giving, your reward is not to come from the recipient, but rather from the source of all good: God. If you are expecting anything good, then look to God because there is absolutely no other source for "good."

Two, no human is ever "worthless" given that Jesus paid with his suffering, body, and blood. I am not worth "something" because I have contributed. I am not worth "something" because I am of benefit to you. Rather I am worth beyond all measure simply because God created me and attends to me and Jesus has suffered for me.

Also, it's just immature to call people names. It doesn't solve anything and it shuts down communications real fast. And finally, nobody is obligated to join in your pity party. Get a grip, man.

article

From the Holy Vocations blog, a link to a Time magazine article:

Today's Nun Has A Veil--And A Blog

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Yes, indeed, I long to live the religious life. I worry about being too old. My financial debt is great; it will take years to pay off. I do want to be happy with my job. And those who know about my work would think it awesome to have my job. I have to remind myself every day what a blessing it is. So it's not that I'm telling myself that I won't be happy unless I'm in the convent. I do try to be happy where I am, but the emptiness I feel is real.

The person closest to me is not supportive ... "You don't have what it takes." "You'll probably be happy for a year and then you'll want something else." "Must you obsess on this nun thing?" Just little stabs. The person closest to me is also the one with the most to "lose" if I enter the convent. These little stabs only push me further. Maybe I don't have what it takes, but that's up to God. Maybe I won't be happy, but I won't know unless I try. And no, I am not obsessing on this nun thing (really, how often do I blog about it?), but it is very important to me.

I lean on the stories of the Saints: St. Jean Vianney who couldn't pass his tests, St. Francis of Assissi who was deemed a deserter and imprisoned, St. Faustina who never opened the convent that she felt called to do, St. Therese who never did the missionary work that she felt called to do ... and so on. It is my job to keep my eyes on Jesus, oblivious to what gets thrown my way.

Love that tune!

Oooh. I really, really like the song "Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls.

t-day dinner

This is another year where I'm cooking the Thanksgiving dinner. The meat, cranberry sauce and desserts were bought. The rest was up to me. The mustard greens came out too salty. The sweet potato casserole and the cornbread dressing were still too soft. But we all had full bellies nonetheless.

The logistics this year was simply not good. Mass at 10 a.m. then Tonto and I had to pick up a few folks. The meat takes 4 1/2 hours to cook. So it was done by 9 (we had to leave for mass shortly thereafter). Mass 10-11. Some socializing after mass. Then we head out north. We both went because it takes two to load the motorized wheelchair, even with the batteries out. The next person gets off of work at 1pm. So fine, we left point number two for the next pick up. Some more socializing and it's almost 2pm when we get home. Then it takes a some time to unload the wheelchair and such.

Meat has been out 5 hours now, but it's ok. I now have hungry people in the house, and two casseroles to cook (cornbread dressing & sweet potato casserole). So I put the cornbread in the oven beside the turkey. Half an hour later I remove the turkey and put in the sweet potato. I serve some time after 3pm. And dang it, the casseroles are not cooked enough and are still soft or runny(they're both edible though ... they were edible even without baking).

Oh well. In past years, these things went off without a hitch. But in past years I was able to cook continuously after mass. I have no excuse for the salty greens. To fix the problem, we transferred the greens to another pot and added more water.

I'm going to bed now. Forget the shower. I'm pooped.

thanx

Thank you, Lord, for a job that gives me holidays off (with pay).

Lord, please bless those who are distressed during "the holidays." May your light and love lift them up. May they have some one with whom to share, and may some one share with them.

Which reminds me: thank you, Lord, for the kindness of others.

beta blogging

Lovely.
I dove into beta blogger.
Then "upgraded" the template.
And lost some content.
Because it was part of the template.

So here I sit.
Contemplating the template.
And no, this ain't poetry.

Please pardon
the disarray
the blog is not yet polished
not I am promising that it ever would be

Leonid meteor shower tonight

"Late Saturday night a meteoric sky show could break over New York, New England, and eastern Canada. The famed Leonid meteor shower ...

... The whole thing should last for only about a half hour centered on 11:45 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on November 18th.

... Any Leonids you see will be coming from the northeast. Be patient. "

-- from the Skytonight website.

tired as usual

Tired. As usual, I feel tired. Then I think back to the times when my resting heart rate was measured. Those taking the measurements were always impressed. You see, if you have a really good heart, it doesn't have to work as hard while you are resting. So a lower resting heart rate indicates a healthy heart, and a faster rate indicates that the heart is working really hard just to keep you sitting upright. Apparently, mine is a lower rate than average. "Do you work out / exercise?" is what they'd usually ask me. "No," is my usual answer (sometimes the answer is, "Not on purpose.")

I suspect my lower heart rate is not so much that I've a healthy heart. Rather, I think my system somehow fails to tell my heart to output a little more. I yawn alot on any given day, and my legs get tired if I sit long. Ever since I can remember, I've always had a need to fidget my legs when sitting in class.

I can just fall over and snooze right now. The cats would love it. But I've still to take my shower. Mass at 7:30 in the morning; fat chance I'd get up early enough to shower so I'd better do it tonight.
I was out for while this afternoon, at a trendy mall for a quick go-in-get-out errand for Gumby. Traffic sucked. There is so much to see, but the traffic was so bad I just wanted to go home. The holiday madness has already begun. And I'm already tired. I need clothes, but I haven't the energy.

Dinner with the Dominicans tomorrow eve. Looking forward to it.

settling in

OK, I think the adrenaline has worn off. For much of this week, I was unusually peppy at waking up in the morning (despite my irritated stomach making me get up at 5 or 5:30). But this morning I was back to being sluggish. I still got to work by 7:30 as usual, though ... thank goodness.

Daily noon mass has been a compromise. I'll attend but not take communion. I'll sit at my desk and nibble on some junk from the vending machine between 11 and noon. Then at noon I make a dash for the 12:15 mass (I've been a little late getting there each time). Mass is over around 12:45 and I make a dash back to be in the office at 1:00. I may play around with that arrangement. Maybe I can get the vending machine junk and leave it in the car, then nibble on it after mass on the drive back, therefore I'd be able to receive communion.

I wonder how much longer I'd be allowed to walk around with this "lost" look. My co-workers are probably expecting it to wear off. Little do they know that it is practically a permanent "feature" of mine. Anyhow, there is so much that I need to learn for this job! Did I already say it's a complex task? (God help me!)

day two

Not to worry, I won't continue counting out my work days.

Today I finished all the corporate compliance training modules (there were 7 or 8 of them). I'm sure there is more to come down the line somewhere. I also now have some six or so documents to read or at least peruse. Hey, I'm a returning employee, I should be able to hit the ground running. This thing that we're working on is quite complex. And we're in the early stages. Kinda scary since we're setting the stage and I have a part in it; what we put on paper now is going to have long term ramifications. I'm trying to get an understanding of this stuff. I should remind myself to pray more often.

I ran into some more familiar faces today. Pleasant surprises.

Gumby and I did early voting last week.

I don't know if my physical problems are from the flu shot received on Sunday, or from the food I ate, or some combination of both. Sunday night I was very fatigued and went to bed at 9 with no dinner, and got up at 6 with no appetite for breakfast. Else I seemed okay Monday; I ate lunch and dinner. I woke up early Tuesday morning with an irritated stomach, feeling bloated with gas that doesn't go anywhere. So my second day at work I've got this uneasy stomach all day, and some diarrhea to go with it. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

first day

It was a good first day. They had a cubicle with telephone and computer for me. Not only that, I was able to logon to the company network. Hey, that's awesome. I don't have access to everything yet, but that is to be expected. An old friend stopped by. Wow, I didn't even know this friend was there! "I thought you wanted out of this business," says my friend. "Yes, but this is xxx." I replied, "Who wouldn't want to work on xxx?"

Morning was orientation. Got a big fancy binder of documents, a pen, notepad, a company freebie item, employee badge and access card. After lunch I was shown to my desk and left to set up my computer stuff. After a while I went looking for the ladies room and had to ask for directions. Later on I went back to another area to meet a colleague, who then proceeded to e-mail me some 4 documents related to the work, and a reference document to assist in learning the lingo. Looks like I won't be bored. I'll also have a handful of corporate compliance training "courses" to complete at my computer over the next few weeks.

Oy, it was comfortable. Everyone was welcoming and pleasant. I can certainly work with these folks.

random

I think it does a man's heart much good for him to lay eyes on a beautiful woman. So ladies, you can do a ministry of "beauty," but do keep it pure.
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I think one of the joys of being single is that you don't have some one in your ear telling you that you've made a mistake when you make a mistake.
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I am in need of new clothes, but I do so dislike shopping. Shopping for clothes is particulary bothersome becuase I have to try them on and I have to figure out if they even look good and I have to figure out what shoes can be worn with them. Unfortunately, sneakers don't go with everything. I'm tired of T-shirts; I've a gazillion of them, none of which were purchased. They all came from various charity events or company celebrations. I think I'm ready for solid tees, at least they look a little more polished than the billboard t-shirts overwhelming my closet. My jeans are all worn. I really can't remember how long ago I purchased these clothes I've been wearing. As for my casual dress shoes (only two) ... I think they're from my college days.
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First day of work tomorrow. I hope to get my life back into some sort of schedule. With any luck, I'll be able to attend daily noon mass again. I might have to go without eating lunch (trade mass for lunch). But I suspect that in the beginning, I'd need to do social lunches.

not fair (of course)

I just watched a TV show that revealed that entrance to some of America's elite universities can be bought. That is, if you have the dollars, you too can be an ivy-league student. What's more, you can edge out an academically superior student for the spot. C'mon folks, please tell me that no one is surprised by that. Fairness and equality is a myth. Is that not one of the first lessons you learned: life is not fair.

No two persons are the same, hence it wouldn't make sense to treat everyone the same. So okay, supposing that two persons are equal, hence they should receive equal treatment. Then I ask you, are two persons ever equal?

The relevant question, I suppose, would be "Is this justice/injustice?" Is it injustice that an academically superior student is edged out by a relatively academically inferior but financially superior student? That sort of rejection is pretty much the same as saying "We don't want your business." That's like showing up at a posh hotel only to have them say, "We have no rooms available" then watch as the next person gets checked in. Personally, if I were qualifiable for an ivy league university but they turned me down, I'd say "your loss" and seek a more mutually beneficial relationship with another reputable university. For others, it's the principle of the matter.

verdict is in

Yay! I received word late this afternoon that I have passed the pre-employment screening. I'm set to report for work on Monday. Tomorrow I should receive details on when and where to show up and what to bring. This is comforting to know, since I'm already spending major $ this week.

My trusty steed has over 82K miles. It has been in the shop the past few days for significant maintenance work including new timing belt and drive belt, new PCV valve, new spark plugs, transmission system flush, brake system flush, power steering fluid flush, rear brake adjust and clean, and of course an oil change with new air filter. Since this is some major $, Smurf got them to throw in a complimentary car wash as well. Fortunately, these are not "major repairs" -- work that would require tearing apart the car.

I think it needs new shocks as well, but I'd rather a tire shop take care of the suspension system. I do look forward to getting my steed back tomorrow.

Other major work that we need done include repairs on Smurf's car and dental work for Smurf. We have no dental insurance, and what dental insurance exists in this state all suck anyways. We'll figure this out in the near future.

go there

It's worth a stop by Sr. Mary Martha's blog for a look at all souls day.

whizz

Whizz test today. Took my lab papers to the lab. Sign in. Wait in a separate waiting area. 15 minutes. 30 minutes. I'm worried. I have a seafood and crab sanwich in the car, which is parked in the sun as there is no shaded parking space. I then ask Jesus to preserve the sanwich for me, as I don't want to waste food. 45 minutes. 50 minutes. Then it's my turn.

Show picture ID. Oh, wait, it's in the car (I hope). Come back, but the door to the lab area is locked. Everybody in the crowded waiting room watching me trying to get back in. Got back in. They open a cabinet. "Get any one of the kits." "Open it and take all the contents out." "Wash your hands at the sink, water only no soap." Take three steps and there you are in the restroom. "Empty your pockets into the lock box." House keys, car keys, cell phone, pocket prayer book, two dimes, and the little wallet I'd been carrying. "Lock it then put the key here [on the counter]." Holding up collection cup: "Fill it to just above the temperature strip. Don't flush toilet." I entered the restroom, closing and locking the door behind me, emerging shortly with the sample. They checked the temperature strip reading, poured it into a sample vial, sealed the vial with the seal that came with the paperwork, I initial the seal and signed the authenticity of the deal. Got my stuff back in my pockets and was out the door. I suppose it's not as bad as what guys go through to donate sperm.

Yes, I washed my hands before eating my sanwich. ;) It's standard procedure to wash hands with soap and water upon returning home before handling anything: refrigerator handle, cabinet doors, chairs -- nothing if at all possible. Sandwich was no longer cold and was a bit soggy in one spot, but was wholly edible. Thank you, Jesus!

restless / gripe

Lately I am unexplicably restless. I find no satisfaction in anything. I haven't much of an appetite, and cannot be satisfied with food. I'm tired yet sleeping does not refresh me. I'm not motivated to do anything. I seem unable to concentrate. I'm listless, lethargic. The weather is absolutely gorgeous the past few days, so it's not the weather. I'm just ... ugh.
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On another note, I had applied for unemployment benefits and this week the verdict came in: no go. I knew it was a long shot. This is how USA can get away with slavery. They interview you, say they need dedicated professionals who will follow through, who will put in the overtime necessary to accomplish the job. This is the nature of a salaried job. Then once you're in, they load you with work that requires 12-16 hours daily to accomplish. So if you do your job right, you have no time or energy left to look for another job. If you just do your 8 hours daily, then look, you're not doing your job. So you cut corners, try to do just enough to get by. But even with cutting corners, you are still working 12 hours daily. But it pisses me off that I am forced to "do enough to get by." If you take pride in your work, this sort of mentality is pure poison. If you work your employees to the limit, where is there room for creativity? What you have then are robots, stuck to a set and well-practiced routine -- because that's the fastest way to do anything; because it requires no time to stop and think.

If you don't quit, the other way out of a job is to get fired. It is never my goal to get fired for not doing my job. I will keep my end of the promise. And by the way, when I took the job, it was a contract for a set duration. The date came and went and yet the company did not let me go (heck, who would want to let go of a good slave?). No formal renewal contract was ever agreed upon. Yet this is not sufficient to qualify me for unemployment benefits. So the workforce commission looks at it and say, "Well, you knew the workload when you signed the contract. Also, clearly you have quit." Whatever, man. The contract also said my employment would end at a certain date and that renewals would be in writing. They were smart enough to NOT state on the contract how many hours I'd be working. I'll crawl through mud to escape slavery if I have to. Yeah, you bet I'd quit the slavery, and no, I don't need to be paid for ensuring my own freedom. But just imagine someone else who haven't the financial means to escape that employment hell.

I only filed the claim to have the situation documented. Had my claim been approved, I would have had to have been actively looking for work and making new contacts every week. I haven't been doing that at all, so I wouldn't have gotten any benefits anyways.

personal DNA

As seen on Susan Rose's blog and Lisa's blog ...

Apparently I had done this before, though I don't know how long ago:

Respectful Leader

And then here are the results from today:

Respectful Leader

"Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER. "
"Your reserved nature, understanding of the world, and faith in others make you RESPECTFUL. "
hmm...my short attention span is beautifully translated as "Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings."
full results here

update

This has been another one of those weeks where my schedule was hijacked by hospital vigils. So unexpected was the duration of this vigil that the cats did not have food for a day or two (fortunately they have plenty of water). I was getting really irritated at how long this has been. I am absolutely non-productive when I'm having to "wait." Anyhow, thanks be to God that things are as best as can be for the patient.

Man, do I need a shower! Man, does the kitchen need cleaning!

Good news, I got the job that I mentioned earlier. I'll be back with the original career and company and industry. Fortunately, they didn't offer me as much money as I had asked for--I'd have to do some real work if they did! ;) Thanks be to God!

If all goes as expected, I should be starting on the job the first Monday in November.

Oh fudge

Tweety's schedule is kinda upside down: sleeping late into the morning then up piddling around until the wee hours of the night. Sometimes sleep just doesn't come easy for Tweety. Most folks know not to call in the morning. Well, the phone rang this morning. Turns out it was for me and they left a message. Irritated with having sleep interrupted and irritated that I don't answer the phone, Tweety hollered for me to come get the message (the machine is in Tweety's room). I got the message then proceeded to erase it. Except that the message count went from "6" to "0." Oh fudge. Man, Tweety is really mad now as we both realized that I had erased all the messages and it's unrecoverable. So I darted off to mass, leaving Tweety to simmer down and try to continue sleeping.

Sometimes I can really fudge up, and be completely incapable of fixing it. Those moments are miserable for me. Then all I can do is dump it in God's hands and hope He'll see things through. I wonder about the folks for whom these "slips" happen more often, where they seem to make more wrong decisions than right ones. How miserable they must feel! I remember a story of a guy helping to fix his neighbor's truck while the neighbor was on vacation. Well, the guy did something wrong, a fire resulted and the neighbor's house went up in smoke. The poor guy was engulfed with remorse and guilt and his sense of self-worth went to zero. Stuff happens. At least this morning's mishap is not any where that tragic.

vocation retreat invite

The Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, Houston, Texas

would like to invite women between the ages of 18-45

to join them in a vocation retreat

6 p.m. Friday, November 10, 2006

to

noon, Sunday, November 12, 2006

at their convent

contact Sr. Maura Theriot for more information

m t h e r i o t at ccvi-vdm . o r g

play ball

The company made an offer. It's lower than I expected. When I get finished with being pissed, I'll need to get my head together to play ball.

discoveries

I don't watch much TV. However, I saw some "daytime" TV (we don't have cable or satellite) recently. I have discovered what is on the commercials during the day: advertisements for trade schools or continuing education or distance learning, but mostly for trade schools. That's pretty smart.

I don't usually see late night TV either, but I hear the commercials are of the adult flavor.

Late this afternoon I discovered something else: band. We are very near an elementary school and a major high school. From my porch, I could hear the high school band in practice. I'm not outside much, but I was coming in from an errand this afternoon and heard the band. On weekends, I can also hear the cheering noise from the ball games in the park. The schools are next to each other and together they are next to the park.

breaking windows

We have had torrential rains for the past several days and there is widespread flooding in the city. Today it is sunny, but some areas are still flooded. Yesterday morning an SUV was pulled out of flood waters and discovered inside were the bodies of two women, 37 and 16. Apparently they could not get out of their car and drowned.

Gumby and I talked about this a little. We can speculate that it was dark and they didn't know that the water was deep. Once in the water, the car shut down and they were unable to open the windows, which were probably electric-operated. And with the force of water on every side, they were unable to open the car doors.

Gumby habitually carries scissors in the car. These would be the heavy all-metal type scissors. I'm guessing that they can cut seat belts but I've never tried. But the main point is that we can use these heavy scissors to break the car windows. Gumby said the backup was the tire iron. I don't have scissors in the car, but I do have the tire tools. Finally, a screwdriver might work. To break the window, you need something pointy (force = pressure per area, so pointy means less area which means more force for the same effort). Rear and side windows would be the ones to break.

If you'd rather not break the windows, then wait until the car is flooded and the water is equal inside and out and try to open the doors again.

for the Latin enthusiasts

Treasury of Latin Prayers
The Latin Liturgy Association, Inc. Home Page

and while we're at it

the Our Father and Hail Mary in a variety of languages

Still on my to-do list is to learn some of the prayers in Latin and the Our Father in Spanish. Perhaps one day it will happen. I'm still working on memorizing some other things. Growing up in USA, rote memorization has been undervalued so I'm not well-practiced. It took me a while to memorize the stuff needed for mass, and I still don't know the less common stuff (exposition, benediction, mass with a Bishop, etc.)

meme

tagged by T.O. at LAMLAND

Patience ... to refrain (in thought and action) from whacking self or others when things don't go our way

Penance ... to have to wear stockings and a dress that restricts your movements - all made from materials that do not absorb sweat; and also shoes that squish your toes, have no cushion while forcing you to walk on the balls of your feet, and which were designed to predisposition you to an ankle sprain ... and thus dressed, must invariably show up in a situation where you are to appear poised, polished and graceful

Piety ... giving God what is due to God

Prayer ... turning your consciousness to the divine and to heavenly beings

Four words for the following four friends to reflect upon:
generosity, gratitude, grace, gusto

...uh, are there actually four other people besides T.O. who visit this blog?